List of Lame 2

The last time the List of Lame was here it focused on cartoon superheroes. This time I want it to focus on heroes that were played by real people. First up is one of my favorites. Automan was produced by Glen A. Larson in an attempt to bring Tron to TV. But in this case it had a computer generated hero trapped in the real world. It stared Chuck Wagner as Automan and, in his return to series televison, Desi Arnez Jr. as Walter Nebicher the police officer and computer programmer who created him. There was even some kid friendly being around known as Cursor. It was a flying computer star that was Automan's friend/pet that helped him out. Now why do I think this was lame if I liked the show. Automan took up so much electricty that he could only exist at night when most of the city was asleep. So what was he to do if a crime had to be solved in the daytime? I guess Walter would be on his own in that case.

Now here is a show that I had high hopes for. M.A.N.T.I.S. was produced by Sam Raimi and developed by Sam Hamm in 1994 for Fox TV. Carl Lumbly stars as Dr. Miles Hawkins who was shot in the spine during a riot. As a result he was paralyzed from the waist down. The Dr. was wealthy and owned a scientific company that he used to make him an exo-skeleton. It helped him walk and gave him superpowers. The series was called M.A.N.T.I.S. as it stood for Mechanically Augmented Neuro Transmitter Interception System. The pilot was pretty good but some characters changed when it went to series. Due to poor ratings they retooled it and the series got worse. Sometimes good ideas go bad.

In 1985 ABC wanted a show to cash in on the audience that watched the mega hit show Knight Rider on NBC. They thought that they had it with Streethawk. The show starred singer/actor Rex Smith as Jesse Mach. He was a police officer who was put to work as a public relations officer. He was chosen to be in a top secret government project. He was to be the driver of motorcycle capable of many wonderful things. It's biggest asset is that it could do speeds of over 300 mph so it could arrive at crimes as fast as possible.
Now this show wasn't the greatest but it was pretty good. But here is what I think made the show lame. Jesse wasn't in control of the motorcycle.
That's right he was pretty much just along for the ride. Engineer Norman Tuttle, played by Joe Regalbuto, was at a computer and he ran the cycle from afar. So you have a guy on a motorcyle going 300 mph while in hot pursuit of some crooks. Suddenly an innocent bystander gets in front of him. What's can he do? Just what he did when it did happen in one episode. Try to miss them and then hit something else. They lost me a little bit with that one. From that moment on I knew this show wouldn't last. It was sad to see it go as it was fun to watch but pretty lame with him hafing limited control of the cycle.

Next is the TV series Misfits of Science. NBC aired 15 of the 16 episodes. It was about a group of superpowered people lead by young Dr. Billy Hayes, played by Dean Paul Martin, who has no powers. One man, Dr. Elvin Lincoln, was 7 feet tall but could shrink to 11 inches. Johnny B was a rock and roll musician who could shoot lightening bolts from his hands and had to wear sunglasses because his eyes glowed with power. Gloria, played by Courtney Cox, has telekinetic powers.
Arnold "Ice Man" Beifneiter was put in a cryogenic sleep in 1937. He wakes up in the 80's with the power to freeze anything that he touches. If he gets too warm he will die so they had to drive around in an ice cream truck. Fear of Marvel Comics suing them over the Ice Man character had him disappear after the pilot episode but they still drove around in the truck.In those early days of computer effects it was still hard to show how they used their powers, espically Gloria's. How do you show someone useing mental powers. Gloria would put her hands to her head and we would briefly see the film go negative and then back to regular. Not a good look on a major network TV series. Perhaps this series would look better now then it did when it premiered back in 1985. I saw the pilot and didn't bother with the rest of the series.

Happy Memorial Day: Marvel Team-Up #13 with Captain America

Well I hope yoiu all have a happy Memorial Day today. Please remember that Freedom isn't free. It has been paid for in blood from those that have enlisted or been drafted to defend our country. In honor of this day I am posting one of my favorite Marvel Team-ups with Captain America and a greatly underused villain, the Grey Gargoyle. After that visit my new blog site Captain America's Americana. At the moment I only plan for it to be a limited blog to last about a year. There you can read about the history of the USA.

List of Lame

Lately the comic book movies have really been big hits in the last 10 years. It wasn’t too long ago that they had a hard time making good movies out of comic books. For every movie like Superman: the Movie there has been a movie like the Punisher. The one with Dolph Lundgren. TV has also had more misses then hits. But the characters they try to add or create on their own are really lame. Here is my own personal List of Lame.

The top of the list would have to be Herbie. What added value did a small flying robot have to the Fantastic Four that the Human Torch didn’t have? It was because of him that I didn’t watch the show. My favorite character in the FF has always been the Torch. Ben Grimm is a close second but when your favorite is gone then there isn’t much reason to watch the show. For years we were told the reason behind taking the Torch out of the series was that the network didn’t want to take a chance that the kids would set themselves on fire trying to fly. Then it came out that the real reason was that another network had optioned the Human Torch for his own series but that didn’t get produced. They should have told the truth because the fake excuse was just as lame as adding a flying robot as a replacement.

Next up is the Wonder Twins from the Super-Friends. The one thing that I liked about the show when it first came on was that the heroes let regular kids like Wendy and Marvin and their dog hang around with them. What kid wouldn’t love to have them as his or her friend and have full access to the Hall of Justice? Those characters were the audience. But Zan and Jana were added and it didn’t hurt the shows popularity. But what added value did they have when only one of them could change into water?

Next up is Captain Planet. A politically correct hero for the politically correct times that created him. He seemed to be able to do anything. While the reason to create a hero to protect the environment seemed like a good idea it wasn’t executed well. Yet against all odds it succeeded. A decade earlier he probably would have been sent to cartoon obscurity. The character was created by, of all people, Ted Turner. I’m surprised he didn’t also create Super Business man. Mr. Turner is a good businessman but he should leave creating superheroes to people like Stan Lee or Marv Wolfman.

From the 1960’s we have Super President. Like Captain Planet he was a product of his times. This time was the 1960’s. President Kennedy’s dirty laundry wasn’t yet aired to the public and to many he seemed like a superhero. Thus the networks created James Norcross. He could fly, had super strength and change his molecular composition at will. Despite being called Super President no o ne knew that the President was his real identity. Talk about lame. The show came under fire by critics by showing a world leader as superhuman. I have to agree with them. No matter how good a leader you have he or she is still only human.
There are more but I have run out of time so I will save the rest of the list for later.

Batman with Milton Berle on the Hollywood Palace

I may have mentioned this sometime before but this is the first time I have the actually segment of the show that I remember watching. I remember when my parents had some friends come over and they brought their daugther. They sat her down with me and we watch a TV show that had Milton Berle and his guest star Batman. I remember them showing Batman arrive at the studio and him talking to Mr. Berle. Robin wasn't with him and I recall saying to the girl "I wonder why Robin wasn't with him?" She said "Didn't you see the show last time. Robin was kidnapped and all tied up." I didn't say anything I just remembered thinking "Doesn't she know this isn't real? Even if it was why would Batman stop to do a TV show when his best friend was in danger."
Anyway I just saw this opening of the Hollywood Palace hosted by Mr. Berle on youtube.com and wanted to share it here. Special thanks to Classic Television Showbiz for posting another Milton Berle Show that brought back this memory and got me to search out the opening of the show that I remembered.

Everyone loves a good fight scene

Tom Landry and the Dallas Cowboys